I heard a story today that describes the typical family in my area.
During deer season, the roads are lined with pickup trucks. Hunters, decked in camouflage pile out and congregate in groups. By law, they have to wear bright orange hats or vests — thank God the bureaucrats in Raleigh are watching out for us, right? Nothing in nature is neon-orange, so I have no idea what the hunters hope to accomplish with their Real-Tree cammo.
I do know that during hunting season, it’s popular to wear hunting-clothes to school or work (if you can wear such things to work.) You can tell who the white-men are in one glance. Country-girls, as well, have taken to the practice and I have to say, I kind of like it.
People get the Real-Tree brand at stores like “Bass Pro Shop” and “Sports Authority” (though it’s also available at Wal-Marts in the hunting section.) These stores sell to white folks (in general) who are interested in the outdoors. In addition to their recreational inventory, they have a large selection of clothes you can only get at these places. That it’s turned into a sort of fashion-trend among white-folks gives me hope that for now, at least, there remains some sort of social cohesion among our folk.
And if anyone thinks that hunting (as a sport) cannot possibly be so important to people in North Carolina that it has influenced local fashion, well, let me continue my story:
A lot of hunting is done by dog. The hunter attaches radio-transmitters to the dog’s collar and watches a digital display of the landscape. When the dogs find a deer, they pursue and the hunter can watch it all from the warmth of the truck. The dogs are trained to route the deer back to the hunter for the killing shot.
This sort of hunting requires well-trained dogs, for obvious reasons, although one of the less-obvious has to do with property-rights. To hunt any bit of land, you have to have the permission of the owner (usually in writing.) If the dog strays off the authorized plot and into unauthorized territory, it could turn into a problematic situation very quickly — and that’s exactly what happened recently.
Some hunters don’t like the radio-tracking method of hunting. It’s too high-tech and borderline cowardly. True hunting involves getting out into the woods, tracking, climbing, crawling, being in the wilderness among the animals! Sitting in a pickup truck waiting for your dogs to do all the work strikes these guys as unfair.
Plus, the dogs chase after bucks (apparently).
Or, at least, that’s the claim (though I haven’t ever heard of dogs exclusively chasing buck, before.)
In one area of our county, a family of traditional hunters live side-by-side with a large area of land that is often hunted by folks using dogs with radio-transmitters — much to the chagrin of the traditional hunters. They complained, time and again, that the dogs were running all the buck off their land!
This is a grave offense.
Warnings were given: “Do NOT run dogs on our property!”
Well, sure enough, it was bound to happen. A rowdy hound disobeyed orders and strayed onto the property. Out of nowhere came a volley of shotgun blasts! BOOM BOOM!
There’s not enough evidence to indict anyone for the crime of “cruelty to animals” (an ironic charge coming from hunters), but, suffice it to say: deer are serious business around these-part (as one hound has learned the hard way. He survived, but had to spend the weekend licking his wounds to get out all the bird-shot.)
I guess the Apostle knew what he was talking about. This sort of thing makes a mockery out of our people, though in one respect, it’s an endearing one:
“1 If any of you has a dispute with another, do you dare to take it before the ungodly for judgment instead of before the Lord’s people? 2 Or do you not know that the Lord’s people will judge the world? And if you are to judge the world, are you not competent to judge trivial cases? 3 Do you not know that we will judge angels? How much more the things of this life! 4 Therefore, if you have disputes about such matters, do you ask for a ruling from those whose way of life is scorned in the church? 5 I say this to shame you. Is it possible that there is nobody among you wise enough to judge a dispute between believers? 6 But instead, one brother takes another to court—and this in front of unbelievers!
The moral of the story (if there is a moral) is this: be careful, white man, what you do when dear are involved. You don’t want to end up like this guy:
Hahaha! You’ve done quite a bit of research on women’s apparel.
This is something I would love to experience! Have you ever gone hunting?
Shotgun, Not something I have ever been involved, but have eaten the end result. That video proves it is not a good idea to tease the wildlife. I was out in forest last month and blundered into a wild boar, I back up slowly and got out of his way.
Faust,
I’ve been chased by a wild boar. Not fun. It was one of the only times I’ve let an expletive slip out. I look back now, and the memory is nothing short of comical.
Yeah, but your expletive was probably something like “gosh darnit!” lol
First, I’m not southern. I don’t say “gosh darnit!” Rather, “golly gee willakers” or, “shucks”. Please, get it right.
We’ve always been a family of traditional hunters, to the extreme. I love bow hunting and I don’t even like using deer stands.
We’re more into fishing though, especially since my dad retired and got a bass boat.
I’m hoping to combine the two. Bow-fishing is hard, but it’s fun (so I’ve heard.)
Sadly something that was not passed on in my case. My Grandfathers and Great Grandfathers hunted and fished in the Ozarks, I sadly never knew any of them. Have fun out on the lake!
All the more reason for you to return to your ancestral homeland. (Robersonville NC)
I have heard the Robersons were a clan of gun-wielding Baptist Hillbillies.
ROFL!!! Thanks, Faust….
Don’t forget about the bible-thumping, sword-swinging, and food-shoveling parts though…. 
I grew up bow-fishing for gar in the murky rivers of the Sooner State. If I ever make it back in the sweltering 100 plus heat, laced with mammoth sized mosquitoes, I might show my kids how dad used to do it. They’ve also been itchin to see dad pull a big fat hawg-bellied kitty fish out of an unseen muddy cavern. I tell ‘em it’s been years since I noodled, and I’ve never been bit by moccasin, beaver, snapper, or muskrat. I think I’ve got one more good run left in me, so I’d like to show the youngster, and see my oldest with a 30 pounder up to his elbow.
Great article Shotgun, I might be headed your way in the very near future, if you’re still up for that drink at one of your favorite watering holes.
Why in the world would you want a gar??? I hear they’re nasty eating and I hate getting them off a hook. Come to think of it though, I guess they’d be good for bow fishing because they stay close to the top when they’re swarming. We have tons and tons of those things — they roll up out of the water like dolphins sometimes. I also see all those “jumping carp” on youtube and hear people like using the bow-fishing gear for them. Thank God we haven’t had those move into the area yet though.
I’d love to try noodling or doing like “turtle man” on TV and catch snapping turtles. We’ve had extensive discussions about how he does it. I figure you have to stand on the turtle, then feel his shell to see which end you’ve got and pull him up.
(Although, like gar, I hear turtles are nasty eating. Supposedly the negros around here love them; so I was going to talk to some black friends and see if I could get a recipe.)
But, it’s great to hear from you and I’m really excited to hear you might be headed this way!
Why hunt gar? There’s nothing like sending an arrow into a 6 ft fish with a mouth full of needle like teeth. As for the eating, they’re not bad, mot people give up because their armor is tough to remove. Most people pressure cook them, and some people even can the meat. For me, I knew a few Asians that were always happy to rid me of any carp or gar. I called it my attempt at foreign relations.
As for catching turtles, I’ve done that many times- just for fun. The meat of a big nasty looking alligator snapper I think is horrid, but some people like it. I even taught my wife how to catch ‘em and keep all fingers attached. I knew a guy that made a decent living selling softshells to snooty restaurants. Never tried those, but the rich folk shelled out big bucks for their meat.
Mornin’ Shotgun!
Good article. I love reading about my people and appreciate your writings. Thank you sir!
@ Phinehas…
That sounds incredible.
By the way, I understated my excitement earlier…meeting you would be *epic*.
shotgun_smith@hotmail.com is my email…let me know if you really do come to NC. I’m near the Outer Banks, but if you come anywhere close to NC at all, I’ll drive out and meet you.
I was going to meet our friend Tribal Theocrat when he came down this way, but he chickened out. (Plus, I think I was up in Ohio meeting David Irving that weekend…an episode that I still owe you for.)