Farewell to Arms?

fairies

“Yet I know that good is coming to me – that good is always coming; though few have at all times the simplicity and the courage to believe it.” ~ George MacDonald

I deleted my entire social media presence and came very close to deleting this blog. But as my finger hovered over the metaphorical “delete” key, I discovered I loved my little production more than its recent neglect indicates. A lot more. More so than my massive social network of pseudo friends whom (with a few notable exceptions), I was able to drop without thought at all.

As to that, here’s the unfortunate lay of the land:

I was seeking acceptance and social standing in the “Kinist” community. I wasn’t able to find either there; not really. There’s a schizophrenia in Kinism. A puritan trapped in the same body with a radical Alternative Rightist. I’m not either and wasn’t comfortable trapped between the two; and, given how many clashes, dust ups, and arguments I’ve had with that crowd, they weren’t comfortable with me either.

One half of Kinism, the puritan half, likes to lounge behind protected walls, resting on laurels it barely earned in the first place, while lobbing cynical barbs at all who dare threaten its tranquility. The other half, the half which actually engages the outside world, is so enamored with the degenerate “Alternative Right” culture that it’s become indistinguishable in all but a few esoteric theological issues. The swearing, filthy sexual talk, and musical tastes are all there. And no matter what I did – be it driving to different time zones to try and incite negro riots, be it putting my name on the line to defend Kinism in public contexts, be it long travels to harass anti-Kinist personalities, or be it countless nights arguing and debating in online venues – it availethededed me nothing with them. Whether that’s my fault, theirs, or both, I left.

I thought, maybe, I could find a different online community with the so-called “Alternative Right”, but as I indicated above, there’s so much profanity, filth, and staunch materialism there, I’d never feel at home. Certainly my ideas and contributions could never be taken seriously. Here’s a brief analysis of the Alt. Right: the Alternative Right is to Liberalism, what Protestantism was to Catholicism. This comparison has drawn ire from Alt. Rightists, all of whom claim to staunchly oppose liberalism, but consider this: liberalism rests on three pillars: equality, rationalism, and science.

The Alt. Right attacks “equality” with a passion. They do very well at it. But they steadfastly hold to the other two. Until those other two pillars are attacked with equal passion, nothing will change about modernity.

So I left social media all together.

There were other “real life” considerations that caused me to leave, such as I’m moving into a career where I’ll be particularly vulnerable to “doxxing”. But the main fact is, I need community. Real friendships. I want the quality, not the quasi!

Without those other avenues of expression, expect this blog to pick up.

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The Braggart

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Men who brag about wanting to meet Jesus have something seriously wrong with them. You all don’t have to share this opinion. Our judgements of others are influenced by life’s little anecdotes as well as individual temperaments, so I don’t offer this as a universal truth. You can take it or leave it. But I reiterate: there’s something wrong with a man who so boasts. Don’t trust him.

There’s too much of the pharisee in modern Christians. Their holiness consists in outward shows of piety, while on the inside, they’re petty, cruel, and tyrannical. Ohhhh…by their own admission (they’ll have you know), they’re on excellent terms with Christ. Their every word is Scripture and if you disagree with them, you’re “disagreeing with the Bible!” Is it naivete? Stupidity? Or down right sorriness? Yes and yes. It’s that petty, streak of meanness that runs through the hearts of both the cultist and the revolutionary alike – the two are the same creature, after all.

I’m absolutely terrified of meeting Jesus. He’ll see right to the black heart of me; all my weaknesses instantly revealed. The shame of it will be unbearable. And yes, yes, my pharisee, cult friends are right. He’s forgiven us. That’s what Easter is all about. But friends, there’s a reason the men in the Bible fell to their faces and weren’t able to speak in the presence of the Lord.

I thought about all this yesterday morning as I drove to my special place of prayer to watch the sunrise. On Sundays or on holy days, I like to devote my prayers specifically to thanksgiving, worship, praises (and the like). Too often my regular prayers turn into strategy sessions where I hash out what I’ve already decided while God watches from the sidelines. Sometimes those prayers drift into daydreams or drag up new worries. But on holy days, I allow none of that.

Only, yesterday, not for the first or last time, I was speechless before the throne. What do you say to a perfect and holy God? What can you really do other than fall (even if only metaphorically) to the ground and beg for mercy? But then we hear that wonderful voice that touches us lightly and says:

“…be not afraid. Stand!”

Beware the man who takes that voice lightly.

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Armadillo by Morning…

armadillo

“…everything that I’ve got,
is just what I’ve got on.
I aint got a dime, but what I got is mine.
I aint rich, but Lord knows I’m free…”

I’m uncool in Alternative Right circles because I don’t believe in machine building, revolutions, or democracy. (Also, because I don’t cuss and I don’t chew and I don’t go with the girls that do). What’s that? How could anyone consider *me* uncool? Believe it or not, it happens. Ironically so in light of the anti-democratic, anti-enlightenment posturing among Alt. Right denizens. But deeds and professions are two different things, eh readers?

“We hate democracy!” and yet there’s non-stop political commentary, support for politics, and praise for Donald Trump. Why all the fan-fare for a man, however praiseworthy, who operates squarely within the democratic machine? (As if we can flip, crank, and lever our way out of modernity). But now we have wailing and gnashing of teeth in the Alt. Right because of Trump’s seeming abandonment of his base. He ousted Steve Bannon from the National Security Council and a day later, bombed Syria. (Hopefully I’m too old to be drafted).

I’ve officially had enough “winning”, thank you.

What’s the Alt. Right’s strategy now? A small few are suggesting we focus on winning hearts and minds or other such culturally stimulating evangelistic campaigns. The majority are wanting to double-down on democracy. “We memed Trump into the White House, we can meme him back out!”

I’ve been saying all along we need to shift focus from machine building, democracy, and state politics, towards family, localism, and personal development. We need to take care of ourselves for a change instead of worrying about the political makeup of the giant plantation we’re living on. We ought to snuggle in, hide our assets, and get close to whatever women are crazy enough to tolerate us.

I’m calling this the armadillo strategy.

Why bother with creating a vast political machine when we can “secede” here an now? Secede in our minds by turning off the television and rescuing our children from government school? Secede from the banks by practicing alternative banking strategies (more on that in future posts). Secede from the hive-mind by getting out of those things called “churches” and getting in touch with our real God. And never forget – we need to secede from the average American diet, for the sake of all that’s holy.

Do armadillos eat kale?

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Shotgun vs. Hipstergrass

streetperformers

Modern bluegrass needs its own category: “Hipstergrass.”

The Dixie Chicks and Nickel Creek, back in the 90’s, started the slide, and now every two-bit suspender-wearing degenerate is strumming a banjo, claiming to sing old time music, and wearing the thickest framed glasses he (or she) can find.

Their music is about how bad blacks were treated, or about the “fusion” of urban culture with the surrounding rural landscape. Sara Watkins, the girl from Nickel Creek, has joined up with Sarah Jarosz and formed a group called: “I’m With Her”, for example, an obvious nod towards Hillary. Other groups (like “The Dead South”) are explicit in their views and feature prominent diversity. In all, there’s a new melody resounding around Appalachia (whenever these clowns see fit to visit): Dear white boy…your culture no longer belongs to you.

If I were two ounces more musically inclined, I’d go to war with these people.

I have a cousin who is in the thick of all this. He’s a prominent blues musician and having been indoctrinated at the nearby college, he now tries to educate us backward whites on the history and importance of his chosen genre. Specifically, the blues (according to one of his presentations I attended), were developed as a way for blacks to secretly voice the frustration they felt, living under the unbearable yoke of white domination. It was a way for them to make sly jokes without being lynched by the Klan, which, apparently, was hiding just around every corner.

He’s often encouraged me to check out the “Carolina Chocolate Drops”, a rare band of negro “old time” musicians. My cousin’s entourage approves and have often suggested other “bluegrass” for me to check out. It’s always the same story. Always the same hipstergrass.

There’s a larger point to be made:

Many of these people are really good musicians. Unfortunately, they’ve become acolytes of the new religion. The very people who, in a Christian world, would be making the most beautiful music, are obsessed with praising the devil.

While the situation is bad, there might be hope.

See, these hipstergrass musicians are trying to be the poetic voice of their people, but it’s a major doctrine of their religion to give up any notion of having a “people”. As a result, their songs are nonsensical (in many cases), formulaic, and without spirit. They latch on to jews or blacks (who still have a people) or they sing about vacuous nothings. This can’t last forever. They’ll eventually lose interest whenever a new fad comes around and those with one foot still in that ol’ time religion, will have the field to themselves.

When that happens, we may no longer hear banjos on the radio, but front porches across the South will, once again, sound forth the music of Dixie.

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A Rose From the Ruins

rose

“What would you do, Captain Quantrill, were yours the power and the opportunity?” inquired the secretary.

“Do, Mr. Secretary? I would wage such a war as to make surrender forever impossible. I would break up foreign enlistments by indiscriminate massacre. I would win the independence of my people or I would find them graves.” ~ The Autobiography of Cole Younger

The secretary turned down Captain Quantrill’s request for generalship, presumably because of the above sentiment. The Confederates were determined to be gentleman. In hindsight – and this is a new feeling for me – I’m not sure Quantrill was wrong. If any of the Confederates were alive today and could see our modern savagery, they might, along with us, wish Quantrill had been given free reign. Cole Younger was right when, earlier in the book, he says “Gray heads suffer because younger ones had not been noosed”.

As it is, there’s not enough rope for all the lynching needed today.

My readers might guess it’s the recent London terror attack that has me riled. You’re all half right. I am not surprised Muslims are killing people. This one is far from the first (or last) of such crimes. No, what I’m angry about is the way Satanic lunatics are attempting to justify this one.

The Islamic mayor of London (!?) says these sorts of attacks are to be expected in large cities. The “social justice warriors” chime in with the same talking points. “There is no crime wave. There is no rape epidemic” they say. “The normal amount of crimes and rapes are taking place but the bias of the government and news media – those evil bastions of right wing propaganda – report the Muslim ones more often. They’re trying to scare whites into racial aggression.” Their recommendation? Open our arms wider. Be more welcoming. Double-down on our anti-racism.

Can such be reasoned with? Given my Presbyterian rationalism (which I’m now cured of, I hope), I used to try. I never realized how ridiculous I looked. I saw that foolishness on display in a recent podcast where a panel of young commentators from different ends of the political spectrum discussed their differences. There was an “anarcho-syndacalist” (a radical left-wing Marxist), an “anarcho-capitalist” (who sounded homosexual), a left-leaning moderate (admitted he was confused and would probably listen more than contribute), the host (a self-styled Christian traditionalist), a “manosphere-type” (with generic Alt. Right leanings but who was mostly interested in discussing feminism), and a self-professed Alt. Right fascist.

Their discussion quickly turned into a debate when the Alt. Right guy suggested there was a muslim rape epidemic in Sweden. The Marxist quickly chimed in with the talking point I’ve outlined above. The anarcho-capitalist agreed with the Marxist and suggested the Alt. Right guy had no real stats or data to support his ludicrous claim. After all, said the Marxist, most rapes are committed by someone the victim knows and it’s ridiculous to think there are gangs of muslims, roaming the streets looking for white women to violate. The two Alt. Right guys attempted to argue until the one got so disgusted, he said “I don’t care! I don’t care what the statistics are! I want them all out of Sweden!”

He should have led with that.

The Marxist understood the religious nature of the debate from the outset. His was a religious passion. He openly suggested violence is necessary to bring in his utopian scheme (although, he quickly added he wouldn’t personally be open to practicing it because of his Buddhism – he couldn’t speak for his fellow anarchists, however).

None of the other panelists had the religious passion to match the Marxist’s. They had a secularized version of my old Presbyterian rationalism.

So what, then, Shotgun?

I’ll tell you what. At least, I’ll tell you what I’m going to do: I’m going to find the prettiest, kind-hearted, woman I can, and marry her. And I’m going to begin creating a small piece of the old Europe that used to exist – build it on top of the ruins.

And that, ladies and gents, is a far better use of my time than attempting to rhetorically force a Satanist into conceding some minor ideological point.

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Real Estate in Old Europe

The vernerable Messers. Sam Dickson and Jared Taylor have produced a video where they attempt to answer why white people are, essentially, committing suicide.

Dickson presented what we might call a materialistic “reduction” of the problem to a psychological disposition. White people, he claims, are prone to abstractions and are, as a result, able to act in ways counter to their self interest. Taylor, opposing Dickson, suggested, rather, it has something to do with the social and political climate of the modern west, noting healthy racial attitudes remain in the Eastern European countries, corresponding to the Iron Curtain divide. Both men were in agreement with a broader sentiment in the so-called Alternative Right: that our people vitally need an “ethno-state.”

In fact, every conference I attend, and every online social venue, hosts this opinion, seemingly without opposition. Who could oppose the idea that the salvation of our people lies in us re-uniting geographically, under a unified political banner? Debate is always about the method of attaining the ethno-state or what its nature will be, rather than any discussion of if we ought to have one at all.

Well, I disagree.

Of course, I’m not the typical alternative righter. I don’t feel at home with any of the factions. There’s so much swearing, evolutionary materialism, and revolutionary machine building, that someone like me, who just wants the old Christendom he’s read about in novels and heard about from his grandfather, doesn’t fit in. You can’t love an old world just by reading statistics and data about it. You wont learn about Europe from a chart. And when I try living out old European mores and ethical norms, I’m accused of “LARPing”, of being overly romantic, quixotic, or even melodramatic. They’re modernists the lot of them, and they don’t even realize it. (I’m not alone, thankfully. Vanishing American has expressed a similar feeling; as have others). Even professed Southern nationalists scoff at antebellum habits.

Well, I want the Europe of Austen, Dickens, and Walter Scott; and I’m not sorry for it. I want Christ to be at the center of our people’s culture and in their hearts again. I’m not sorry for saying so. Without this, all commentary on our mass suicide has no teeth.

So, with respect to Dickson and Taylor, it’s not psychological reductionism or socio-political ills; contrary to the pagan white nationalists, it’s not the jews or the globalist bankers. And contrary to literally everyone in the entire pro-white spectrum, it’s not an ethno-state that will save us. No, the white cancer struck when we had ethno-states. Our cancer struck, even before jews were a viable threat.

I don’t want to sound overly optimistic in what follows, because there are very real, and very difficult hurdles to surmount in attaining it, but I believe our people’s salvation lies in the same place it always has: the arms of our loving savior. And we’re promised that where two or more of us are gathered together in His name, there He will be also.

…and that will be a good acre of old European soil regained from modernity.

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Fasting: To be Continued…

– Bad luck strikes again. Or maybe it’s God’s providence? For reasons beyond my control life has stepped in requiring me to break my fast earlier than I had planned. Still, I made it five days, so I suppose that’s something, right?

– It’s difficult to fast anyway but doing so when in your everyday environment, with the everyday cares spiraling around you, is extra challenging. All the more reason to “go into the desert”, even if only a metaphorical one.

– I was doing really well this time and I’m disappointed, even a little discouraged I’m unable to go longer at the moment. Nevertheless, doing an extended fast (30 days or longer) is a goal of mine I refuse to give up on.

– Basically – a job opportunity surfaced and I’m not in a situation where I can afford to turn it down because of a water fast. Nevertheless, 2017 is my year and I’m determined to do a long one before December. I have enemies reading my blogs so I wont say too much about the job, only that it’ll be largely sedentary and with planning, I ought to be able to work while fasting. That’s not ideal, I know, but it should be doable.

– Despite the shortness of the fast, I feel my insulin is balanced, my gut is slightly better off, and I’m no longer addicted to nicotine. I’ll abstain from smoke and sugar for the foreseeable future. I want to be in shape again! New job, new body…who knows, maybe I can have a new life too?

Thanks for all the prayers and encouragement and I humbly apologize if I’ve let anyone down.

I’ve said it before and I’ll reiterate now: I hope to morph this blog into more of a personal, lifestyle type blog. I’m even thinking of changing the name. Something like: “The Alt. Life” or some such? Or…and this is crazy… I’m kicking around the idea of a video “vlog”…a weekly (bi-weekly?) youtube presentation. Not many of those in the Alt. Right at the moment and certainly none devoted to the type of lifestyle / fitness / motivation / book reviews / philosophy / wildlife / martial arts / vocational / etc. etc. stuff I could bring to the table. Still, do I want to trivialize my image and “de-personalize” myself by being a youtube celebrity? (Assuming anyone would even watch)?

Stay tuned…

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Fasting Log: Day 4

– Bad dreams. Woke up at five in the morning and couldn’t get back to sleep. I kept hashing and re-hashing old failures, past humiliations, and mistakes. Got up, took a long hot shower, but even then, it was some time before I could drift back to sleep. After waking up for the second time, I felt mildly better.

– Gross, I know, but I was able to use the bathroom. Looked normal. Last time I fasted, my stool was bright orange for some reason. I reiterate: I know this is gross, but it’s something fasters pay close attention to, for good reason.

– For those wondering about my scheduled duel over a lady’s honor, I didn’t blog about it but the situation was resolved a few weekends ago. I attended the first-ever Atlanta Forum conference – a conference mostly attended by self-professed “Alternative Rightists” who associate with the “Daily Shoah” and “The Right Stuff” online communities. However, Matthew Heimbach also showed up, as did other leading young Southerners (Hunter Wallace, Michael Cushman, etc.). I was supposed to meet the offending party there for a duel of fists. After much pleading, the lady in question called me off as her champion, citing concern for the safety of those involved and suggesting the apologies she received through email were sufficient enough to satiate the offense.

– On that, we’ve become fond of each other after much correspondence. She is really pretty, and a Christian. The only problem is that she’s a Roman Catholic. She’s what those in the Alt. Right call a “trad catholic” and a sedevacantist (she dislikes the pope more than I do). I don’t want to be presumptuous here (forgive me, readers, for speculating), but how would a marriage between a hypothetical person like that and a hypothetical person like me possibly be manageable? Speaking for myself, I have too much respect for the spirit of the religion the hypothetical gal holds to – too much to try and argue her away from it. And argue her into what? Modern Presbyterianism?! God forbid! I’d be hell bound if I was successful. But again, speaking for myself, I can never submit to a corrupt human bureaucracy, claiming to be *the* official divine organization on Earth. No pair of green eyes, no matter how pretty, can make me do that. Maybe the safe thing for this hypothetical couple to do would be to guard their hearts and part ways before getting too emotionally tangled? My wisdom says that’s right, but…but… she reads Sir. Walter Scott!

– I’ll post the recap of day 5 tomorrow, but after that, I think I’ll only post a fasting log every five days. It’ll get repetitive otherwise. So, after day five, I’ll post another on day 10, then on day 15, and so on, for as long as I can make it.

Many thanks to those of you who are praying, following my progress, and encouraging me. Sometimes, in the early afternoon, when images of gourmet medium-rare cheeseburgers (topped with blue cheese crumbles, avocado, and bacon) start floating through my mind…I need all the prayer and encouragement I can get.

Stay healthy friends!

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Fasting Log: Day 3

– Woke up around 5 in the morning. Last time I fasted, I had trouble sleeping a full night and it seems that’s starting again. Fortunately, after a long, hot, shower, and a few gulps of water, I was able to fall back to sleep for another five hours. The more I sleep, the better my body will be able to utilize the fast – at least, that’s the theory. So I’m trying to get at least 12 hours a night.

– Nevertheless, I woke up in an incredible mood. I was almost giddy. I’ve been having vivid, memorable dreams. Good dreams where I’m surrounded by friends and I’m accomplishing great things. I suspect my dreams, in this case, are a reflection of the giddy spirits attained from fasting. I know from past experience, it wont stay this way. I’m in for rough emotional weather.

– In fact, many people report emotional turmoil while fasting. It’s said this is our body offering us a chance to parse through these old emotions, understand them, and try to resolve them by forgiving those involved, or … well, it’s unclear in the literature how we’re supposed to do this. For my part, I’ve found fasting makes it easier to realize what’s causing a negative emotion, to analyze it, and resolve it. Usually this is done by forgiving the person involved or having clear paths to resolution present themselves (eg: after the fast, I’m writing so-and-so a letter to explain this or that).

– It was Valentine’s Day, so I prayed for my future wife (whomever, wherever, and ifever, she is); also, I watched a sappy romantic comedy: “While You Were Sleeping” with Sandra Bullock. She was cute back then. What happened? Some Alt.Right guys might call it a “Beta-Cuck fest”…but I’m not so sure. Bullock’s character was lady-like, after all, as opposed to the feminist harpy being wooed in romances today. Also, I don’t recall any stereotypical faggotry – there were no homosexuals in the upper-class family. If all urbanites were like the family in that movie, they wouldn’t need crushing. (H/T to the Crush the Urbanite meme). Also, there was no pre-marital sex. Imagine a “rom/com” like that today!

– As is typical for me when fasting, my brain has gotten fuzzy and scattered. This happened almost from day 1. It’s difficult to focus, read, or write. Meditating is very difficult. Hopefully this will pass as, for now, it’s hard to even pray or read the Bible, which are two of the biggest things I need to be doing.

– I didn’t drink much water at all. I’ve been managing about a gallon of distilled water a day, but decided, owing to rumors in the fasting culture / literature, that I’d slow down my drinking and see if that speeds the detox process. While it was nice not to have to run to the restroom ever twenty minutes, I’m not sure it helped me any. By this time during my last fast, I already had what they call “faster’s mouth” – a perpetually slimy, bad taste in the mouth indicative of cleansing (especially for a cigar smoker). This hasn’t manifested itself yet this go-round, and I suspect it’s because I didn’t drink enough. I’ll go back to the whole gallon for day 4, but I’ll drink it slowly instead of large gulps. A gradual hydration might help my body assimilate and use the water better than a deluge, which gets passed out soon after it goes in.

– I’m going to have to cut back on the showers. My skin is getting too dry because of them and I don’t want to use any lotions. This may sound gross to some, but while fasting, I don’t use any products at all. No shampoo, deodorant, or even toothpaste. I do brush and floss, but using only water. If I need to run into town for something…(I know, I know: fasting experts are rolling their eyes at that but in my defense, there are scenic places I like to drive to and watch the sunset)…I’ll take a shower first. Keeping track of body odor (of whatever sort) is a good way to track the body’s detoxification. Plus, I don’t want to add anymore toxicity to the body; it’s got enough work to do as it is.

 

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Fasting Log: Day 2

– Detox symptoms came back this evening. I’m having mild headaches but they go away with a hot shower and after drinking water.

– Water…let’s talk about that. Last time I fasted, I distilled all my water. By about day six, I was getting overly nauseous, weak, and sick. Taking the advice of some (who suggested I might be low on “electrolytes”), I stopped drinking distilled water and began drinking the fresh mountain well water. The nausea seemed to lessen although, thinking back, I ended the fast soon afterwards so I’m not sure, after all, if it was the water or not. In fact, fasting gurus (and the literature), while somewhat ambiguous, lean towards suggesting that all the minerals and nutrients the body needs are already present and are accessed during the fast. Additionally, the diehard proponents of distillation have a point, county water is a petri dish of bubbling chemical concoctions. God knows what kind of fluoride, chlorine, or who knows what all, is in our water; I’m especially suspicious of the tap quality here. Weighing these things for what they’re worth, I’ve decided to try distilling all my water again this g0-round. I’ll try my best to tough it out if the detox symptoms get severe.

– On that, they say all sorts of ailments occur while fasting, as a result of the body cleansing itself of toxins. Headaches, nausea, vomiting, cramps, etc. Hopefully, given my history of cleanses and fasting, these symptoms wont be too severe.

– Another issue the fasting literature is unclear about is the taking of medicinal baths. I like to scrub myself down, really exfoliate the pores, then soak in mixtures. My favorite is the Epson salt and ginger bath; when you get out, your entire body has a pleasant warming glow. Very relaxing. I’m not sure if the salts seeping in through the skin are enough to disturb the fasting process. I hope not because medicinal baths are helpful psychological replacement of meal time.

– My tongue has turned white. If you look up water fasts on youtube, many of the people will document the color of their tongues over time. Supposedly, this means the body is starting to cleanse itself. When most of the toxins are gone (or when you begin eating normally again), the tongue changes back to its normal pink. Whatever someone may say about the theory, it’s a fact that when I start fasting, my tongue quickly turns white and when I’m done fasting, it changes back.

– Writing at night like this is a burden to me and interrupts my routine. I think, henceforth, I’ll post a new update the next day. So, for example, I’ll post my recap of day 3 on the morning of day 4. That’s when I’m up and have the most energy anyway.

If you’re following along, I could appreciate your prayers. This is no easy task. If you’re reading this years later, I hope you find encouragement in my daily chronicling. Maybe you’ll find something helpful for your own water fast?

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