Telephones were ringing all across Tranberg county North Carolina.
Jimmy Jim the crow laid waste to Mr. Johnson’s car in response to a particularly loud ring tone on Emmy Johnson’s new cell phone. (Emmy was Mr. Johnson’s sixteen year old daughter.)
“Stupid CROW” shouted Mr. Johnson, quite to his daughter’s dismay.
“Oh Em Gee, Dad, U need 2 like totally chill! Jimmy Jim’s just a stupid bird!”
Jimmy Jim didn’t understand the complex societal relationships that Emmy constantly monitored via cell phone. Nor did he understand Mr. Johnson’s anger at having his car pooped on. Jimmy Jim had always been a little nervous, and loud noises tended to illicit “poopy” responses, so what?
Hoping to evade the cacophony of ringing, Jimmy Jim headed skyward. He usually enjoyed his spiraling romps through the clouds but today something was different. His heart was still pounding from Emmy’s ring tone but something else bothered him as well. The humans were scared.
In response to this ominous conclusion, the sun began slowly fading away and the light surrounding Jimmy Jim turned to shadow.
A cloud of dense smoke was drifting in front of the sun. Before he realized what was happening, Jimmy flew headlong into it. His lungs felt like they were on fire, and all the strength left his wings.
He fell out of the sky like a black, feathery, meteor, barely managing to recover enough at the last minute to save himself from hitting the pavement below. Gagging, Jimmy Jim fluttered a few feet off of the ground, trying to regain his crow-like balance.
Just then, a large red human machine with blue lights and really loud horns came rushing up behind him. He barely dodged it in time, though he did manage to leave another surprise on the front glass.
“Haaa Haaa!” laughed Earl the fireman, as he watched his chief wash the poop off the windshield of the truck. “You sure did scare the poop right out of that crow!” “Shuddup Earl!” The Chief said, “You need to focus. Now listen, when we get up to the school, we’re going to have to set up a perimeter. We can’t have crazy parents getting in! Got that?”
“Yah boss, I got it! No parents get in!”
“You set up things out front, and I’ll bring the truck around to the rear. We don’t want this fire getting out of control!”
Following Earl and the Chief was a mini-van driven by the pastor of the local Baptist church. He had his cell phone in one hand and an angry grip on the steering wheel with the other.
“Johnson? Johnson? This is Pastor Bob! Get to the school NOW! What? Say that again…No! You don’t have time to stop at the hardware store, I don’t care if your car has bird poop on it! Get to the school now! We NEED you down here!
It’s on fire Johnson! The School’s on fire!”