Oh the Naivete’ of Me!

I made a rash comment recently.  Rash, but sincere:

“If I ever meet the Queen of England, I’m making a public scene.

I’ll walk up to her, bow, and pledge my undying devotion to both her and the crown, noting that, while I’m aware she commands vast resources, should she ever need it, my noble heart will make up for whatever nobility my blood lacks, and that all the chivalry Sir Walter Scott has merged into it is hers to do with as she pleases.”

I wondered if she would knight me on the spot.

My friends, expressing typical cynicism, said I’d get a beat-down by her security at best.  At worst, she might actually do it, adding me to the ranks of sick sexual perverts and blood-thirsty oligarchs.  (The round-table is looking a little multicultural these days).

But this fever of loyalty, even if only to a quasi-legitimate crown, has afflicted far better men than myself and while I was still in its throes (I think I’ve come to my senses, but I could relapse any minute), I said it would be better to think of me, in that scenario, as wresting a historical title from the hands of second-rate brigands.  (I used those exact words).

Ok, I admit: I’ve always been a little naive.

But I’ll expect everyone’s apologies on the day I actually meet the queen.  Because of this rash comment I’ll have something already in mind to say (instead of jabbering unintelligently and missing out on a great moment).  The more grief I get for being naive, the more likely God is to set up such a meeting.  He has a sense of irony – that’s one truth more certain than anything in a systematic theology text.

Still, I might contrive to make the meeting happen.  On some weekends I’ve been driving to Richmond and surveying the night life.  I happen to know that the great Margaret Thatcher’s granddaughter is presently attending university there and, well…stranger things have happened.

I also happen to know Richmond was (a few years back) the scene of terrible “flash mob” riots.  The very heart of the Confederacy, subject to animal degeneracy!  ~ sigh ~

The thought of that beautiful young woman surrounded by salivating creatures… (my readers should insert the appropriate curses and otherwise descriptive terms for them; I trust your imaginations).

If any of you feel that fire in your guts at the thought … well, my friends, that means you’re one of the living.

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6 Responses to Oh the Naivete’ of Me!

  1. civil rights apostate says:

    I was disappointed in the queen when she knighted Robert Mugabe–at least she de-knighted him in the end.

  2. Thelibertylamp says:

    A true knight would never dream of wanting to hit a woman, so there are some issues in that department you need to evaluate within yourself.

    BTW, it is almost impossible to meet the queen, in fact for a while photographing the palace many tourists were given a hard time.

    Why don’t you focus on taking a trip to London? Travel is one of the best ways to expand your horizons and become a more well rounded person.

    London is one of my favorite cities, the next one being Brussels.

    • Are you more offended at the idea that some women deserve hitting, or at the audacity of the idea that man is God’s dominion agent, with the moral authority to do so?

      • Thelibertylamp says:

        Oh, please, Shot, stop the trolling. Real men don’t hit women. If you want to study up on true rules of chivalry and gentry, you would learn that hitting women is a lowbrow uncultured mentality of a lout.

        You want to be a “knight”? Then you need to start thinking like one and not like some trashy character in a Tennessee Williams play.

      • What do regicidal jacobins know of chivalry?

  3. Quality blogpost, thanks.


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