I Have Had It!

(sung to the tune of “The Marine’s Hymn”)

From the Halls of Academia,
To an Indian tepee,
We lie about European history,
In our books, in class, and on TV.
First to fight for diversity and perversion,
And to keep our liberal records clean,
We are proud to claim the title,
The ‘Culturally Diverse Academic Deans’.


I have HAD it, readers!

I have finally reached that point where I am no longer willing to continue slogging through the asinine wasteland that is American education.

The military decided to pay my tuition and gave me a living wage as long as I stayed enrolled and maintained a certain grade point average.  The bar for this deal is fairly low; the average veteran needs only a 2.8 GPA to maintain his benefits.  I’ve kept a 4.0 consistently.  All A’s.

But no…I’ve had it.

I’m at the breaking point now.  I’m so sick of this “education” game.  The military can’t even *PAY* me to attend anymore.  I quit!

Americans teach all subjects the same way.  Learn to play the game in one class and you’ll find you’re adept at it in all.  It’s an unmanly, feminine method which stresses memorization over learning broad conceptual relationships.  All classes, regardless of subject matter, operate in the same way.

Item:  Spanish.

Instead of learning *why* the language operates as is does, we’re expected to memorize long lists of phrases and vocabulary.  And we’re supposed to remember where the accent marks go.  We’re not to know anything about verb conjugation or Spanish grammar, instead, we’re simply supposed to remember that ‘yo soy’ and ‘nosotros son’ have their respective meanings that correlate (roughly) to English use of similar vocabulary.  It’s maddening.  How do you say “KEEP YOUR FISH PLATTER!!  I WANT TO LEARN HOW TO BAIT MY HOOK!!” en Espanol?

Item: Mathematics.

In every class, there’s always a feminist, fresh out of highschool, whom I find completely insufferable.  In *EVERY* case she equates crass memorization with intelligence.  She’s smart because when teacher utters sentence “A”, she religiously scribbles sentence “A” then mindlessly repeats sentence “A” minutes later in response to the teacher’s pandering. And oh is she smug about it.

But she’s only memorizing operations.  She’s memorizing motions and movements.  She has no idea why the rules operate as they do.  She has no notion of what axioms are or why the universe displays such brilliant symmetry.  No.  She’s a trained monkey who thinks she’ll one day govern our pagan democracy (“girl-power” don-cha-know?)

DON’T ASK ME TO MEMORIZE the formula for finding the area of a triangle!  TEACH me how to derive the formula on my own and show me why the formula succeeds as it does!

Should I carry on with all my other “Items”?  It’s the same story in every subject.  They’ve even managed to turn British Literature into this same format of idiocy.

I’m done with it.  I’m done with all of it.

What good will a slip of paper from a bunch of pagans do me in this life anyway?

“I’m a bona-fide Plantation Worker, A-yea-up!  This here piece of paper proves it!  I vaccinate my kids, pour toxic chemicals down their throats, shop at Wal-Mart, and spend my every waking moment parked in front of a television!”

Unplugging might just be the biggest revolutionary act I can perform at this point in my life.

I’m off to Newport News to work with my hands.

Academia can burn along with the rest of the plantation.

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8 Responses to I Have Had It!

  1. Swiss Kinist says:

    Ha! This is the best piece you’ve ever written. Praise God! This is one of the items our family has been praying about for you, brother.

  2. anonymous says:

    I’m a college math instructor, and so I can sympathize a little bit with your mathematics complaint. A LITTLE bit. Anyway, I’m not sure what feminism has to do with it, or why you would choose to let some annoying know-it-all get on your nerves, but allow me to explain.

    Depending on what class you are taking, you can expect a varying level of explanation. But try thinking of these formulas as tools for doing a job. Learn how the tools work, and how to do the jobs assigned to you. This DOES NOT mean learning how to build tools yourself. At least, not usually. For that, you need to either take higher-level math courses, or else enroll in an “advanced program” kind of course, where the instructor will know that you are willing and able to learn about these things.

    If you want to know WHY certain formulas are true, okay fine, you can always ask your professor. But usually, that’s just not important for being able to use them. Just remember, they’re like tools for a job. And you don’t need to know how to design and manufacture a screwdriver in order to use it. In many cases, it’s a real waste of time. A professor/instructor needs to decide what is the best use of class time. Should he/she explain how to make a particular tool? Or explain how to use it? The latter wins out almost every time.

    As for the area of a triangle, if you are refering to the formula A=(1/2)bh, recall that the area of a rectangle is A=bh. By drawing suitable perpendicular segments, it’s easy to see that the rectangle generated by a triangle with base b is twice the area. So just use a 1/2 multiplier to get the area of the triangle.

    If you’re referrring instead to Heron’s formula, it has an elaborate proof which would take a long time to explain. But if you’re REALLY curious, you can read the algebraic Pythagorean proof on wikipedia, which is elementary.

    As for Spanish, I can’t comment on that with any first-hand experience. However, I strongly doubt you weren’t taught any Spanish grammar. But grammar is useless without a word bank to go along with it. We aren’t 6-year-olds anymore, who can pick up a new language just by listening to people speak it. We need to use adult methods, and that means rote memorization along with practicing. At my university, we have a daily cafeteria dinner for language learners, where you sit at a table and aren’t supposed to speak any English. This gives serious students an opportunity to practice what they learn in a real-life setting. (Community colleges probably don’t have a resource like that, but they MIGHT have a connection to a 4-year university that does.)

    Let me make a suggestion. Talk to your professors/instructors. And by “talk” I don’t mean trying to tell them how to do their job. Instead, just ask them what you want to know, after class. Ask your math prof, “hey, why is this area formula true? If I forget it, how can I derive it again?” Or ask your Spanish prof, “how do I ask a girl if she’s a feminist who’s had sex with a black guy?” Just please, do NOT say, “you should be teaching X.” Let the teachers teach. If you want to change the system, work from within.

    One last thing. Don’t burn bridges. You have a sweet deal, being supported while you attend college. And I know from talking with you on Paltalk that you’re a smart dude. So, stick with it, until you have an overriding opportunity knock at your door.

    • What American educators (like yourself – as you’ve just demonstrated) are interested in, is not the educating of a man, but the creation of a plantation worker.

      What business does the plantation worker have in questioning why things are done as they are or why he must follow pattern x,y, and z?

      Since we’re offering each other suggestions, I might suggest you look into different paradigms of education. On the old classic model, students were taught Latin, Greek, philosophy and theology. Now isn’t that all but useless? Well, useless to plantation workers. Not useless to men who wish to govern their own destinies. The whole concept of a “liberal arts” education was to enable men to function in a typically Western, classically-liberal republic.

      We abandon it at our own risk.

      • anonymous says:

        Thanks for the response. However, I’m confused. Do you think I was telling you that it’s not your “business” to question why things are done as they are? On the contrary, I suggested that you talk to your profs after class to find out!

        Anyway, as for the “classic model,” I agree that it is well to learn Greek and philosophy. I might even begrudgingly admit that it is well to learn theology. So, if that’s what you want to learn, then go for it! But I was responding to your criticisms about how math and Spanish are taught.

      • I think you’re so inundated with modernism, you’re unable to think outside its box.

  3. Alan J. Perrick says:

    Very interesting, the only drawback I could see is that many of the manual-labour jobs are done by coloureds…

  4. Elle says:

    I understand where you’re coming from. I felt the same way with most of my classes. A mainstream education is one of the hardest things to stomach for the average traditionalist. However, being so close to the end, can you not battle it out to the finish line?

    • Shotgun says:

      All the credits I need now can be gotten via online classes. I figure I’ll sign up for them at my leisure. I only need 9 more credit hours for a degree.


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