Dear Black People…

In response to the recent movie “Dear White People”, I decided to, in turn, reach out to the black community with a few helpful tips, bits of advice, and comments:

——————-

– The left lane is for PASSING!!! Not poking along!!!

– Just because she’s got blonde hair and blue eyes, does *not* mean she belongs to you or that you’re entitled to her.

– We whites have a healthy amount of introspection, so don’t be upset when we don’t shout a greeting at you from 20 feet away.

– If a white person breaks eye contact with you on the highway or in a parking lot, it doesn’t mean that you’ve dominated some impromptu masculinity contest.

–  You do *NOT* need to listen to blaring rap music while pumping your gas.

–  Also, your thoroughly annoying mega bass always exceeds your personal space thereby subtracting from the value of ours. (H/T Scott Ash).

–  The green light means go not wait till it turns yellow. (H/T R.W.).

–  We like sturdy, sensible boots and may wear them multiple days in a row. In fact, we may only have the one pair of footwear, except for our dress shoes or tennis shoes (used on their respective occasions). We do *not* need to wear different pairs of gaudy, colorful shoes everyday. Swapping shoes and outfits is what our women do, not our men. That’s not a part of our culture. Deal with it, please.

–  Please stop shouting at each other across the parking lot.  If you want to have a conversation with a friend, approach him or her until you’re close enough to communicate at a normal volume.  We don’t all need to be included in your conversation, however exciting it may be.

–  Just because white people are congregating somewhere, be it in a housing development, country club, or private school, doesn’t mean you have a right to hop in a car with Jesse Jackson and come crash our event.  We’d appreciate some privacy and a little breathing room please.

–  You can make various noises with your mouth?  An interesting skill, but doesn’t entitle you to fame or wealth.  Sorry.

– PULL YOUR PANTS UP!  No one wants to see your underwear!

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I’m sure the list of kind recommendations could continue.  To properly reciprocate the movie, we’d have to come up with at least two hours worth of advice to blacks.

I open the remainder to my readers.  Contributions welcome.

Post below!

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5 Responses to Dear Black People…

  1. Swiss Kinist says:

    “Swapping shoes and outfits is what our women do, not our men. That’s not a part of our culture.”

    Unfortunately this is true, but it ought not to be for a godly white woman.

    Great list otherwise though. I still remember the move “Don’t be a menace to south central while you’re drinking your juice in the hood”… that movie has a whole lot of truth about negro culture.

  2. civil rights apostate says:

    Great list, Mr. Terry. But they won’t listen.

  3. rogerunited says:

    PULL YOUR PANTS UP! No one wants to see your underwear!

    A few weeks ago, I saw a black dude that I wish had been wearing underwear!

  4. civil rights apostate says:

    another suggestion–don’t protest every time a white policeman justifiably shoots a black thug-you know that you have a higher crime rate than we do.

  5. S.K. says:

    “Red” is a color not a flavor.

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