On existential jitters…
I’ve been cynical lately about prayer, despite all my friends telling me I ought not be. Despair or not though, I’m of the school that will love God even though He slay me…so, I’d pray on, not caring anymore if He answered or not. He will or He wont, what’s that to me?
I remember a parable where Jesus told about a woman who brought her case before a judge, but the judge kept ignoring her. Night after night, she’d pester the judge until finally, he relented out of pity. That’s my strategy, if strategy it is.
But recently I went on a trip to Charlotte and as usual, before setting out, I prayed for safety; safety from accidents, criminals, and highway tyrants. A little over an hour later, I was stopped by a highway tyrant and treated like a common criminal. Not only was I accused of the heinous moral crime of “speeding” (which means, I was driving along, minding my own business), but my vehicle was illegally searched by a half-insane brigand with a loaded weapon.
Many of my readers are sheep who have no problem forking over funds to the highway tyrants. “You got what you deserve, Shotgun, if you really were speeding! Speeding tickets are such common occurrences in America, after all, no need to question your Faith about it, or get all upset. Why don’t you just slow down?!”
Well, I don’t question my Faith, other than the fact that I prayed for protection and didn’t receive it (and like I said above, I’m no longer surprised or daunted by that). But I was (and am) FURIOUS about the rampant highway tyranny in America. No! It’s NOT a little thing, to shrug off or bear with, and here’s why:
Of all the tyrannies we have to suffer, this is the worst, because it makes the biggest demand of us. It asks us to change internally – to change our hearts away from freedom and towards tyranny.
To “speed” is such a tiny thing, a mere flexing of the muscles and some pressure of the foot. To avoid the highway extortionists-with-badges, one must so utterly submit oneself to the state, so thoroughly accept the tyranny, that the smallest muscle contractions are now controlled by sheep-like reflexes. The state controls our muscles and wills them to oppression! A free man doesn’t have those reflexes! And all you saints who would condemn me for saying this … you know that fear you get in the pit of your stomach when a trooper pulls behind you on the highway. You know it but you’re too proud to admit it, even to yourselves. We’re all sitting ducks! We’re all targets! Any of us, at any time, can be next.
When I see the ill-fated blue lights in my rear-view, I reflexively think about how I am not a citizen of this nation – a nation ruled by homosexuals and limp wristed bureaucrats. What do they know about how fast I ought to drive at a certain time on a certain stretch of road? When I see those blue lights, I feel suffocated. I feel there are no real wildernesses anymore, no untamed highways. When I see those blue lights, I feel sick to my stomach with discouragement, not just for myself and all the money I’m about to have stolen from me, but for the fate of Americans, who descend from a proud and free folk, but who now wallow in a pot of boiling water they refuse to jump from.
I was so angry about this tyranny and my unlawful search, I decided to go buy a suit, dust off my old brief-case, and defend myself in court. But not even this right is respected anymore. Not only must I be a sheep on the highway, to be socially acceptable, I’ve got to waive my right to defense in court, plead guilty, and grovel before the extortionists.
Just once, I’d love that snot-nosed highway tyrant to have to work to prove his case. Can he prove it beyond a reasonable doubt?! Well can he? Think about it. It was pitch black, his front headlight was out…how certain is he that he clocked me and not someone else? And for that matter, if he can’t keep his headlights fixed that makes me wonder if he can keep his radar tuned.
But no…no, no… defending myself in traffic court (so my parents, and other sheep advise me) is only something low-class people, like negros do, to tie up the system and make things hard on the precious legal system.
THIS LEGAL SYSTEM ALLOWS THE SLAUGHTER OF INFANTS!!!!! They have ZERO moral authority! I’ll be damned if I tip toe around making things easy on them!
Still – regardless of what I do with my present case, another thought always pops into my mind when I see those tyrant lights in my rear view.
Could I be a lawyer? Could I learn to formally defend myself and others? Such a thing would be interesting, certainly. I started daydreaming about having so many cases in NC traffic court and tying them up so much, that they’d be forced to throw out the majority of these frivolous speeding charges. I might even march on Raleigh and convince them to change all the speeding signs from white to yellow – the yellow meaning they’re mere suggestions. We could have a highway system similar to that in Germany. An excellent plan! We might even do away with state-troopers all together and give tax breaks to local Sheriffs who can control speeding in their districts as they feel necessary (and if they get too picky about it, well, the citizens wont vote for them again).
My military career bought me some time to think about what I’d like to do with the rest of my life, but that time’s running out, and I’m getting seriously frustrated with this indecision about the future.