You Might be a Modernist If…


1  If you think the building in the picture is attractive.

2 If you believe in Darwinian evolution and think anyone who doesn’t is intellectually inferior.

3. (On that same note), you might be a modernist if you are in the habit of talking about science as if science were a person: “…but, but, Science says x,y, and z on that subject!” This is often followed by phrases like “what we now know…”; you also may be prone to citing statistics often, regardless of how the statistical data was obtained. That it was obtained and that it supports your ideals is all that matters.

4. If you’re passionate about voting and have a strong, intuitive distaste for anyone who suggests working outside accepted political avenues. Additionally, you’re a modernist if you think state officials must be immediately complied with in all matters.

5. If you constantly refer to those who agree with your ideals by some title: brother, comrade, compatriot, etc. and define your self-identity according to the same ideals, e.g.: “I’m a Fundamentalist Baptist and you are too, brother!” Or, “I’m a Clarkian, transubstantiationist, supralapsarian, Reformed Presbyterian Church in the U.S. congregant!”

6. If, when looking for a spouse, you vet whomever you meet based on how similar their ideological views are to yours. How pretty or smart she is doesn’t matter; what matters is if she agrees with x,y, and z doctrines in the organizational handbook. “Can you affirm what John Calvin says on page 217 of the Institutes? If not, we can’t be together.”

7. If you were government schooled, listened to the radio, and watched television all throughout your formative years.

8. If you’ve ever tried to solve any of the Christian paradoxes using the tools of analytic philosophy (or, if you’ve ever tried to do the same for the secular equivalences of the Christian paradoxes, ie: the one and the many, etc.).

9. If you claim to love nature but never spend any time with her.

and, lastly,

10. You might be a modernist if your favorite time in history, or if your favorite heroes, existed any time after 1900.

As is usually the case ladies and gentlemen, please don’t worry if one, two, or even three of these may apply to you. All of us, after all, had to grow up in a modernist world and there’s no shame in admitting we’ve been affected by it. It doesn’t mean you’re a modernist in spirit. Although, some of you reading this may recognize yourselves and your attitudes herein displayed and proudly accept the title.

“You can’t turn back the clock, Shotgun!”

Ironically, thanks to the modernists, once a year, in the fall, we do exactly that.

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7 Responses to You Might be a Modernist If…

  1. rogerunited says:

    Signaling time!
    1 Heck, no! Modern architecture is a pet peeve of mine, hate it. ON a related note have you ever read Kunstler’s Eyesore of the Month? [not an endorsement of anything else Kunstler may say, do, write, think or look at]

    2 I’m a Christian and a default creationist, so no.

    3 I cite statistics, its a character flaw. On the other hand, studies show that 90% of people don’t understand the significance of statistical data, anyway!

    4 I’m 40 and have yet to vote. Why vote when I can usually tell who’s going to win months before the election?

    5 I call people dude whether they agree with me or not, because I’m bad with names.

    6 If you ever met my wife you’d figure out real quick that I didn’t pick her because she agrees with me…ever.

    7 Can’t dodge this one unless you’re Amish!

    8 I don’t know of I’ve ever done this, but probably.

    9 I don’t get out as much as I used to, but I do get out regularly.

    10 Nope. My opinion is that Western Civ peaked sometime in the mid to late 1700s.

    Score: 7/10
    70% is passing right?

  2. Junius Daniel says:

    Mr. Terry – a very cute criteria. On #7 I plead guilty. #7 caused me a great deal of trouble in finding who I really was, though, I imagine I have some company in this, as the sole purpose of #7 is to disembowel the soul of a White-Christian-Southerner….

    As for the rest, I am not guilty.

    P.S. If you want to see what my family and I regard as suitable architecture, look up images of our abode – The Rea-Lassiter House. That is as modern as we get:)))

    • Ahhh, I’ve seen it with my own eyes. Very nice.

      • Junius Daniel says:

        I’m so glad you enjoyed it. By the way, I so detest modern architecture (the one world elemental primordial bauhaus style of unadorned concrete, steel, & glass thing) that my wife dreads to pass any such thing, as it will kick me off on my soapbox about the instrinsick aesthetick corruptness of modern man:)

  3. Junius Daniel says:

    By the way, I was guilty of #8 as a teenager (during the reconstruction era), but, spent many years as a practicing Buddhist – and their #1 rule is – never think when being ‘religious’, so, when The Holy Ghost snuck into me, at a much later date, I had already become tremendously practised at avoiding the roads where Satan camps out – the cognitive analytical process of ego and quantification…

    So, if you want to lower my grade from a 90% to an 80 something, I will try to keep my self-esteem intact.

  4. Fr. John+ says:

    As a professor in real life, I wonder at the penchant of previous posters for prognostications that this process has perceptive viability… in other words, who says YOU get to make judgments on these matters, and then call us, ‘modernists’? LOL

    1- no, hell no. 2- define ‘darwinian evolution’ – better yet, define heliocentric, FIRST! 3- Oh, the infamous ‘They say….’. 4- I’m passionate, this time. TRUMP. 5- ‘Men, fathers, and brethren’- I would be in the same camp as St. Peter in his sermon on Acts, I presume. 6- We both agreed before we were engaged, that we needed to be on the same page, theologically speaking… otherwise, how could I lead, and how could she follow? Oh, and she concurred with the ‘and obey’ clause, PRIOR to the wedding. 25 years later…..

    7- yes, no, yes, yes, no, (K-grad school). NPR, Talk radio. Oh, and TV only as to what WE choose, since it went digital, and/for we still have our old analog/vhs combo.
    8-Rushdoony brought me out of Thomism; I became a kinist because of CR/Theonomy, Deo Gratias. Does that really count? Or does a diet now of Palamite spiritual reading, balance the scales? LOL
    9- Nature is overrated, especially when it’s -20F. But I love a good walk in the Spring and the Fall.
    10- well, how about selected periods in the 20th century, up until about 1967?
    But would I consider living in Victorian era Britain? Oh yes. Yes. Yes.

    Score: Always the iconoclast, it would appear. From one who loves icons…. go fig.
    Benedicamus, Domine.


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