Fasting Log: Day 1

Bullet point style:

– Sunday, February 12, was the first day of my water fast. I hope to go at least thirty days, hopefully forty.

– I apologize to my readers for the long gap in my posting. It’s never good for an aspiring writer to say, but I’ve been too emotionally conflicted and uninspired to write anything of value (not saying I’ve *ever* written anything of value). Dead inside. Or am I?

– I’m approaching this fast differently than all my others. This time, I’m especially trying to focus on prayer and meditation. “Meditation” has always been a bad word for me. It smacks of eastern mysticism and hippy nonsense. Nevertheless, to help my fast, I’m reading “The Willpower Instinct” by Kelly McGonigal and have been convinced of the practical merits. The idea, in short, is to clear your mind as best you can. This exercised focus increases blood-flow to the frontal lobes of the brain, causing growth in the relevant areas that strengthen self-control. When your mind begins (inevitably) to wander, you force it back to the calm. In so-doing, you build up a resistance to impulse and capricious mental activity. Seems to be working.

– My fast was supposed to start Thursday, but I hadn’t adequately cleansed from nicotine; the withdrawal and detox symptoms were so bad, I decided to extend my starting date (yet again), to Sunday the 12th.

– Because of an extended period of pre-fast preparation, day 1 was almost painless, with only slight detox symptoms. I had a mild headache in the late evening. It was gone completely this morning when I woke up.

– The demonic is already starting, though. To my techno-pagan materialist readers, this will sound overly-fantastic, but I believe that when a Christian man fasts and prays and tries to cleanse himself spiritually – the devil comes a knocking. Last night, for example, when I came downstairs to use the bathroom, I was inexplicably struck with a feeling of panic, fear, and dread. I began looking around the house; all was dark. However, the motion sensor on the shed outside was lit up. Why? Was it a coyote? A stray dog or cat? A large bird? Or was it something else? The thing almost never comes on and we don’t have habitual strays wandering through the property. Maybe it was nothing; but why the inexplicable fear? I’ve got my Bible with me.

– I’ll re-cap today, my symptoms, anything noteworthy, etc. before I go to bed. So if you’re at all interested in the day-to-day struggles involved in water fasting, stay tuned.

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