Shotgun vs. the Liquid Jew

alien

I was told that if you’re sensitive to caffeine, stop using it for awhile, then take a high dose, it’s liable to give you a panic attack later in the evening. I didn’t believe it as I chugged one of the many brands of liquid jew on the market, but here it is, almost five in the morning and, I believe!

I was sitting on the back porch surfing my daily reading when, out of the corner of my eye I caught a slight movement that looked every bit like a seven-foot-tall “grey” alien, ambling menacingly outside my field of vision.

Whatever it was scared the (redacted) out of me.

The fear gave way to anger. No demon from Hell was going to treat *me* that way. I’m a son of Adam and holder of the sacred fire of the Occident! He shall not pass!!!

I burst out of the screened area onto the deck, shining my flashlight in all directions. A Netflix documentary popped into my mind. It was about this man who was “haunted” by aliens and saw them frequently, as well as mysterious little girls who’d peer at him from between his porch railings. I shined my light to the railings, expecting to see a little white girl with bulging, alien eyes.

“You are *NOT* welcome in my yard, you little minx!”

I didn’t see anything (lucky for the alien) but the dogs a field over were howling for all they were worth. I gathered my things, came back in, and am writing this post – where, I now realize (upon cooler reflection), this is all probably caused by that damned energy drink.

…the liquid Jew.

Not. Even. Once.

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7 Responses to Shotgun vs. the Liquid Jew

  1. Joe Putnam says:

    Wow. Shotgun, it may be time to say goodbye to energy drinks! I never liked energy drinks, but about a dozen years ago I consumed great quantities of Mountain Dew.
    As I set here in McDonald’s checking my sites this morning, about a dozen Negroes just walked in -old, young, mixed, cornrowed, and with their kids. One of the afro-ed hair boys is wearing a “security” shirt with his silky athletic shorts: yeah right. Strangely, it looks like their might be an old guy instead of a matriarch leading the gaggle. Perhaps they will not notice the Confederate battle flag emblazoned on the my cap on the seat next to me…
    My rural county was 97% white according tot he 2010 census, but you would neve rknow it by going to McDonalds.

  2. Joe Putnam says:

    Update. It topped out at seven tables of loud Negroes, who left without destroying the place or accosting the white boy with the Southern hat. I live to blog another day…

  3. Fr. John+ says:

    I never have taken one of those caffeinated time bombs, and never will. They seem marketed to the stupid under-30’s who are too cowardly to do illegal drugs, so they want to do ‘legal’ drugs… and they’re too lazy to go to Colorado, and help that states illegal/immoral economy of Cannabis.

    Older manuals of demonology would have called your ‘visitation’ a type of encounter. At least we now know the difference. Right, Shotgun? LOL

  4. Energy drinks, listed as one of greatest methods mentioned in the protocols of Zion. No but seriously, it may increase sci-fi writing abilities. Those things are toxic! Surprised you didn’t get a bloody nose. A friend of mine had a nose bleed from one of those extreme energy drinks just as he got on stage to play an acoustic hymn before a lutheran church Ha!

  5. Obie says:

    Alcohol is the real liquid Jew. Like Jewish liberalism, it obliterates proper judgment and turns people into raving, reckless, dangerous idiots.

  6. Fr. John+ says:

    And yet, God commends a ‘little wine’ to ‘make one’s heart merry.’
    Nope. Sorry, Obie-wan. Phariseeism is no more appealing in the 20th Century than it was in the first.

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